The letter!

Since having IVF I now dread October as I know it's when we get 'The letter' then one asking us what we want to do with our 2 remaining frozen embro's. We were very lucky the 1st 2 years as we had storage included within our treatment.

This year though was different, the letter came from Oxford and unlike the previous years there was now a cost to store the embro's which meant we had to finally decide what we wanted to do.

Our options

1. store them for another yr cost of £290

2. Let them perish

3. Donate to another couple

4. Donate to science

Before the letter had come hubby and I had talked about it knowing that we'd probably have to pay this year. We had already decided we're not going to have any more children and that we didn't just want to let them perish So that left us 2 choices. Although I thought we'd go with option 4 we decided that we wanted to explore option 3 a little more.

Option 3 - donate them to another couple would mean the opportunity for another couple to have a baby, but what would it mean for us?

* Another couple would have our biological child and James brother or sister

* We would have to go for further tests before we could donate 

* We would have to go for counselling 

* We could never find out any more than the yr of birth of that child and the sex

* James would never be able to search for his brother or sister

* At 16 that child could find out more information about us

* At 18 that child could find us if they wanted

* If that child ever got taken into care for any reason we would never be told

After a long hard think over a bit of wine we decided that was not an option for us mainly due to the fact James would never be able to find his brother or sister and the tests and counselling we'd had to go through in the beginning.

So that left us only 1 option - donate to science. Oxford are currently doing research into why perfectly good embryos don't implant into the womb. So our embryos will go into that research and actually instead of helping just 1 couple they could help towards helping lots of couples! 

The C word

When I first heard The C word was on I wanted to avoid it like the plague then over the days I've heard some great things about it that when I was off work in May suffering with my poorly back I decided to watch it. What a roller coaster.

The C word scares the Shit out of me and I have no idea how I'd deal with it.

I know it's effected so many people lives and so many people have lost someone from it, including me.

Every day I miss my Nan and Aunt who were taken from us by the C word. My nan died when I was about 11 or 12 I don't have massive memories of her, though I remember spending time with her in the holidays.

My Aunt on the other hand I remember every bit of her, she was not only my Aunt but also like a big sister to me. 

I so wish they were both here today to meet my gorgeous son I know they would adore him.

My morning with my Son

This morning was one of those mornings with my son where everything is answered with a NOooo and screams and then the whole where’s Daddy starts.

It started at 5.40am this morning with my Son crying in his cot. I go in to find that he’s had a nose bleed during the night, I give him a cuddle and then try and wipe his still slightly bleeding nose this equals paddy number 1. I somehow manage to give it a wipe after wrestling with the octopus and then take him into our room for a cuddle. My son then asks for milkie, thoughts run through my head thinking how do I do this alone? Normally when hubby is around 1 of us makes tea & milk and the other one gets J up. Answer is cbeebees but then at 5:50 in the morning it’s not on! Thankfully my son is part entertained by the adverts of the cartoons meaning I can strip his blood covered bed and make myself a cuppa and him his milk (oh and take some headache tablets to help my banging headache) by 5:55 I’m back upstairs, in bed asking my son if he wants to sit on my lap for his milkie. Answer of course is NOoooo and cue paddy number 2, 15 minutes later Mr Independent is feeding himself his milkie.

At 6:35 I get up to start getting myself ready and leave my son in the bedroom watching cartoons, though he decides he wants to come into the bathroom and sit on his stepping watching me until he decides he ready to brush his teeth. I say brush his teeth very loosely as of course he doesn’t actually brush his teeth just sucks the toothpaste off and wants to hold the toothpaste at the same time. This then starts paddy number 3 as he wants more toothpaste which mummy won’t let him have. Paddy number 4 starts quickly after when again mummy dares to try and wash the dried blood out of his hair. Finally after about 10 minutes I’m in a position to get him changed out of his PJ’s and into his clothes for nursery.

At 7:10am we’re dressed and downstairs getting ready to leave when paddy number 5 starts as my son decides that he wants to go ‘outside’ to the back garden to play, distraction of finding his shoes to go outside sorts that, paddy number 6 is followed soon after over not wanting to get into his buggy by this point I have probably heard the work NOoooo about 100 times already. 7:18am we’re out the door and walking to the bus stop. Paddy number 7 comes at the bus stop when he’s bored of waiting for the bus which is now 10 minutes late and just wants to get out of him pram. Finally the bus turns up, the bus journey feels like it’s taking forever! Finally paddy of the morning comes when he gets bored on the bus and wants to get out of him pram. Distraction doesn’t quite work, savour is bus arriving in Town.

By 8:10am he’s dropped off at nursery with a face like thunder (I wonder where he gets that from). The staff asking me how he is my answers today is “moody but of course he’ll be full of beans after I leave”

By 8:15 I’m up at my desk taking a deep breath before walking to the coffee machine for that much needed caffine fix. I now have 8 hours before I have to do it all again.

 

My son’s favourite words so far today:

·         NOooooo
·         Daddy
·         Hold it
·         Outside
·         Sit there (this goes with him patting where he wants you to sit)

Review of my 2014 bucket list

Well last year I did a bucket list instead of new year resolutions.

So how did I get on?

Bucket list 2014

1) Loss the remaining 2 stone of baby weight I have to loss ✅ 

Nearly before Christmas I was within my 5lb of my goal weight, Christmas it all went out of the window and I put on 9lbs!

This year I know I will definitely get back to goal and below, then I can finish sorting out all my clothes, I know there will be some bits to sell!

2) Take a carriage ride around central Park when I go in May ❎

This didn't happen for 2 reasons 1: they didn't look that inviting and 2: it was very expensive

3) Finish decorating the house ❎ 

Though nearly there, we got the whole house done bar the downstairs bathroom, hopefully this will be finished in the next month or so.

The main thing to do this year is to pull our garage down in the garden and replace with this

Will be able to keep hubby's bike in the shed and then have a nice summer house for the family.

4) Make sure we do family days out at least once a month ✅

We haven't always done big days out like zoos but have tried to do something at least once a month

5) Spend some quality time just me and hubby ✅

Not had much but have had some, this year we're going to try and have a date night once a month

6) Do some fun and exciting things with J on my day off ✅

I try and take him somewhere for him on a Monday. Though I do struggle some days, I know as the weather improves it will become easier. Also I have got a merlin pass this year so I'm hoping I can take him to Legoland a few times.

7) enjoy and savor all those new 1st I will experience with J this year ✅

We've  done some amazing things this year, been on our 1st airplane holiday to New York and had our 1st family only holiday as well as some really great days out. 

8) Try and not get so wrapped up in twitter and make time in the evenings for Hubby ✅

Well the 1st part of this happened, I've taken a little step away from Twitter and actually this blog. The 2nd part making time for hubby well can't lie that's not happened as instead I've been on candy crush 😁

9)  Make the effort to cook more recipes both old and new ✅

Well definitely cooked more this year less ready meals though not that many new recipes.

10) Enjoy time with my friends ✅

I've had some great days out with my friends this year from Ascot

 Legoland

Spa day at Penny Hill and not forgetting the Master bake classes I did with my Dad.

Overall 2014 you've not been a bad year. 

What does 2015 hold?

Hubby turns 40, James turns 2, trip to Alton Towers, trip to Scotland and lots of other adventures in-between