A recent event got me thinking about friendships I have in my life and are they actually friendships or are they just people I know. I struggled to feel like I belonged sometimes, I'm finding small talk harder and I hate being the one that has to make all the effort, sometimes I wonder if I just sat in a corner would anyone actually talk to me? Is there something wrong with me? Do people actually find me hard to get on? Is it just me?
I've actually always struggled with friends I have to say I have no friends for primary school and barly talk to anyone from my secondary school. My closest friend is actually my hubby but still there are things I don't tell him or talk to him about. After that I have a close friend I met at ventures, but sometimes I even struggle to talk to her and find at times things aren't as easy as they used to be.
I'm the kind of person that is always there for my friends, I'm the one at the party making sure no one losses their handbag, the one at the house party who's in the kitchen clearing up.
I know I'm moody, hard to get on with and can be difficult at times but still everyone needs to be loved. I know I do things to feel needed or wanted but that is me just trying to fit in.
At times I find everyone else around me is moving on yet somehow I am just standing still.
Is it too much to ask to be liked, to have friends who want to make an effort with me?
It's still brings me back to the same point is it me?
