Wednesday, 15 May 2013

When it’s not ok to be crying all the time



After my NCT course the other night I decided that I wanted to do a separate post on depressions as is not a common thing that’s discussed.

I’ve had depression on and off all my teenage life maybe even slightly early. I can’t say at all that I had an unhappy childhood if anything I was more lucky than most. Mum and Dad had their own company and were doing well, we lived in a nice house, had lovely holidays and me and my 2 bothers were lucky enough to be sent to private school.

The earliest memory’s I have of it is being at boarding school and writing on my diary how unhappy I was and how I didn’t want to be here anymore, we always put it down to bad PMT.

Over the years on and off it reared it’s ugly head, then in 1998/1999 I had quiet a bad car crash where I rolled my car over on the A329M near Wokingham when I feel asleep, I was very lucky and got out without a scratch on me but a few days later the nightmares started & so did the low feelings, visit to the doctors confirmed I had depression and I was put on medication which helped.

A few years later though a very difficult time with my (ex) husband , I again started to feel low so after a visit to the doctors I was put back on antidepressants but these actually made me worse, the feelings of not wanting to be here anymore came flooding back, I remember sitting in the kitchen on a few occasions knife in my hand just wanting to end it all. My one saving grace over all the years has been I have been too bloody scared to actually try to kill myself mainly due to the massive fear of what happens if I try and someone saves me? I was differently at the lowest point of my life, I had no support from my ex. I know now he was actually part of the problem. As always I wasn’t talking to anyone and making out to everyone everything was ok but actually it wasn’t, I was living with an alcoholic and an attention seeking self harmer! No combination to put with a depressive! With the help of a counsellor I found the strength to get myself of the tablets and sort my life out this started by dumping my (ex) husband and moving back home with Mum and Dad.

A few years later it showed up again, by this time I meet Chris, I remember him feeling so helpless when some days I would just cry for no real reason and nothing he could do would help. Over time we started to discuss my feelings more and slowly this started to help, at this time my Doctor also changed my pill due to my weight and I was finally feeling normal. This is how it continued for quite a few years.

What I didn’t ever say in my Weight loss blog post was when I hit goal I started to feel down again, my confidence had completely gone as I was spiralling into possibility of getting an eating disorder. I managed to see all the warning signs. After my previous experience on antidepressants I decided that was not an option or me but remembered how the counselling had helped before so through my works employee assistants program I found a local counsellor and after 8 sessions I learnt to start loving my self a bit more.

As soon I found out I was pregnant I started to worry about getting postnatal depression and now as the time of the birth draws ever closer my fear of it comes back. Chris and I have spoken about it and also after the NCT course the baby blues. We both know I may get postnatal depression and know that I may not notice the signs and therefore Chris and my mum (who I’ve also discussed things with) will be keeping any eye on me. I am hoping that it won’t affect me but it’s always best to be safe rather than sorry.

One of the main things I have learnt over the time is not to bottle anything up to talk to Chris about how I am feeling. I’m very lucky with Chris as he’s very understanding, listens most of the time but most importantly knows when not to dismiss my feelings, he does get fed up of me moaning all the time at the moment, which I feel bad about.

I know that’s it’s never right to be feeling low and like you want to cry all the time for more than a couple of days and that if I suddenly don’t want to do something I love doing then something might not be right and finally that medication is not always the answer!     

Thanks for reading x

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